Monster With Sharp Teeth

Chicago, Illinois to Cedar Falls, Iowa. 380 miles.

In the morning I was set to go and called Soneca. He’d mentioned that he would be training Forrest Griffin for his UFC fight at 10am and wanted me to come and work with them, because he needed guys his size to roll with. Luckily for me I called to confirm and saved myself a 90 minute traffic hassle, because Forrest was actually sick and could not train that morning. Oh yeah, Soneca said when I called. “I was going to call you to tell you not to come.”

I knew I was in the heartland because they advertised it a lot. I haven’t been in a state yet that didn’t have corn being grown somewhere. The road was mostly flat and straight, but there were a few pretty winding curves. In an out-of-the-way town somewhere I overheard a girl talking to her high school boyfriend at a gas station. “Little Anna got run over by a four wheeler yesterday!” How much ATV traffic can there be that someone would get hit by a four wheeler?

A sample of the beautiful wide cloud formations in Iowa:

Then I lost my way because of another dual-named highway! Actually took me into Wisconsin for a moment. Drove an extra 50 miles or so… and of course there was traffic on the road back so had to improvise and take a little side route back through.

Sure enough, my neck and shoulders were ACHING after the previous day’s injury. It’s the same side I had to turn the throttle with, so it got bad for a while.

Near my destination I stopped by the house of the former President and Civil War General Ulysses S. Grant. It looks very small relative to modern homes but it was probably quite large by 1860’s standards.

Got into Cedar Falls and my sister and brother-in-law greeted me with the kids. Nice house, very homey. There are useful conveniences nearby; it’s a very clean orderly college town. All of Iowa is clean. The whole country actually has a fantastically neat and organized highway system. And compared to almost every other country I’ve ridden (besides Europe), the roads are flawless, and where not so, are being repaired.

My 4-year-old niece gave me grief from the moment I came. “You’re bad! And you are not allowed to stay here and sleep in my bedroom and you should go back to your own bed in your own house and not come here any more! And you’re a monster with sharp teeth!” All this was much more entertaining because she only spoke in Spanish, as Ingrid and Tyler speak both languages to the kids. Her parents did little to discourage this behavior—apparently it was acceptable and normal for me to be treated this way. We went shopping the next day, finally got a digital camera so I could start getting documenting done. I also took a bath in Epsom salts for my neck and shoulder. More cold treatment all day long from my niece, with moments of warming up and showing sweetness. As my brother says, there’s a very prophylactic effect in hanging around with someone else’s kids. Also watched them playing in the kiddie pool out back. My nephew, who is two, unceremoniously crapped on the deck in the backyard while running around naked. I must remember these things to embarrass them when older.

posted by goat hill dreamer @ 4:20 PM